Yesterday, I hand-washed my X-Trail. I painstakingly removed all the bugs from the front end, using the appropriate cleaner. I dried everything with a synthetic chamois. I used rubbing compound on any scuffs I found. I applied tire shine spray. I then applied a coat of Turtle Wax and lovingly buffed all painted surfaces to a deep, glistening shine. I finally Windexed all the glass to get any overwax off. It took a couple of hours, and my shoulders are sore.

Who wants to bet a bird’s going to poop on it before the day’s out?